Trying to deal...

On Thursday March 5th we lost a friend to suicide. I am still in so much shock over what happened in my neighborhood on this day and how my friends lives changed forever. I came home about 12:30 in the afternoon to find my neighborhood filling with cop cars. After a few minutes the SWAT team was out as well and they were running around with guns. I had everyone parked right in front of my house and down our street. I called my friend to ask her if all was well with her husband and she thought everything was fine, she was at work. Things escalated and it turned out it was her husband and he was most likely gone before the cops had arrived. I brought her into my house after she arrived to find out the news and we dealt with the situation with the cops, detectives, paramedics, etc. It was an awful day, an awful situation, and an awful experience.

I am so overwhelmed with feelings of sadness for this family that we are such good friends with. Their little girl is great friends with my daughters and it breaks my heart that she will now grow up without her daddy. I don't know how to feel about someone my age taking their life and leaving behind a wife and daughter. I am also now dealing with losing my friend and her daughter since they will be moving back to California soon. I feel so sad for her and her daughter, for their loss, and angry towards him for doing this, yet sad that he felt this was his only answer. I wish her and her daughter the best in what lies ahead for them. I will miss all three of them greatly!